


Bound By Wild Desire (I Fell In To A Ring Of Fire...)

by lizibabes



Series: Angst Bingo [10]
Category: Adam Lambert (Musician)
Genre: AU, Homophobia, M/M, Swearing, kind of wrongful imprisonment, references to domestic abuse, sex., talk of exorcisms, talk of possession, talk of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-18
Updated: 2012-02-18
Packaged: 2017-10-31 09:00:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,472
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/342260
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lizibabes/pseuds/lizibabes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fill for the prompt possession for angst bingo, pornography for Kinkbingo, song: ring of fire for Glam bingo, wanking for 50kinkyways and #44 virgin for lover100. AU. The hair, the makeup, his parents and their priest agree, he must be possessed. Can his best friend Adam save him from an exorcism, from a house that has become a prison. Adam is willing to face down anything for Tommy, but can he be the hero this time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bound By Wild Desire (I Fell In To A Ring Of Fire...)

**Author's Note:**

> Beta: I_glitterz  
> Disclaimer: I don’t own any of the characters in this story and as far as I’m aware this never happened.  
> As always, no offence meant to any religion or any one's religious views. Title from lyrics by the song Ring Of Fire, by Johnny Cash(Seen as this is an AU Adam hasn't been on Idol or sung this song) Highschool AU in that they are both in highschool, but they won't go to school during the fic. Both Adam and Tommy are meant to be eighteen in this fic.

He's eighteen; he's a senior; he should be worrying about college, about leaving his friends behind, leaving behind someone he loves. But right now, he's not thinking about leaving for college, maybe leaving Adam, because he doesn't know which school his best friend has picked to go to. He hadn't decided the last time Tommy had seen him. They haven't talked for a week, and seven days is a long time to go without talking to a guy who you've talked to every day for the past seven years. But right now, he's got bigger worries than maybe not being at the same college as Adam. Like he's got to worry about actually going to college. Not because he didn't get in, he did, to all of his top three choices and he's got a scholarship, so money’s not a big problem; no, the problem is he's locked in his room, playing Johnny Cash to drown out his parents, the priest and some 'concerned' people from his family’s church.   
　  
He doesn't need to listen in to hear the same shit they've been saying for months. It started when he dyed his hair, spiked it up and pierced his eyebrow. He'd tried to explain to his parents that it was about expressing himself, not offending them or anyone else. They'd listened but they hadn't, it had been like talking to a brick wall, their faces closed off as they didn't take in a single word he said. His music, his hair, his clothes, they were all signs of him embracing a godless world, according to his parents and to their church. He doesn't believe in God, but he doesn't see how a piece of metal in his face, a few holes in his ears, can mean that he worships the devil. He doesn't, he doesn't even believe in the devil, can't even see how someone could believe in one and not the other. No God, means no devil, there's evil in the world, but it's people who are responsible, not a fallen angel.   
　  
People are evil, do wrong without the devil guiding their actions and people should be able to be good without the threat of burning in a ring of fire if they’re not. The only thing that burns is life and with that in mind, Tommy opens up his laptop on his bed. They can sit around talking about him all they like, but they don't know shit. Like the porn he has on his laptop. It's not even hidden well, but his parents have to get him to show them how to open their emails on the family computer, so it's safe enough. Because if they knew who Tommy was burning for, the kind of person he loved, well they'd probably try and help him on his way to those hell fires. Pornography was bad enough, but pornography that was all men? Naked men doing everything Tommy could imagine wanting to do with another man, well that was worse. It'd be worst still, if they noticed that almost every video included a tall man with black hair, as close to looking like Adam as he could get.  
　  
They didn't really approve of Adam anyway; Jewish, the drama club captain, lead in every musical. He was a good kid, never been in any trouble, good grades at school. He didn't fight his parents about doing chores. He drove his little brother to school. He was most parents’ idea of a perfect kid, not a goody goody, but so very far from a bad kid. But for his parents, he was the wrong faith and that was enough reason not to like him and then there were the rumours that Adam was gay, that he'd dated a boy called Brad from his cousin's college. It was true, Adam was gay. He had been seeing the older boy for a while and Tommy had nearly died of jealousy. He hadn't confirmed the rumours to his parents, not because he thought Adam had any reason to be ashamed, but because if he did, his parents would try and stop him from seeing Adam.  
　  
As it was he was already under house arrest for a combination of the bar he now had running through the top of his earlobe. They really didn't like the scaffold piercing, he'd also broken curfew. He'd been at a show, not drinking, not doing drugs, just listening to a guy sing all of Johnny Cash’s greatest hits. He'd liked the guy’s voice, he'd been a little like the real Johnny; rocker edge, but with a little something else that reminded him of Adam when he was up on a stage singing. He'd have to try and get Adam to sing Ring of Fire for him; it was Tommy's favourite Cash song.   
　  
So he's gonna watch a guy who kind of looks like Adam, while listening to a song that reminds him of Adam now. He doesn't have the sound on his laptop anyway. He doesn't like the music they put in porn backgrounds, doesn't like the fake moans. There's probably better porn out there, but he's working with what he's got here; for free, in his room, locked up, Ring of Fire playing on repeat, and a tall, dark and handsome man, prowling toward a smaller blond man on the screen. Seems like a good way to pass the time. He lets himself feel the music, the beat of a good song always gets to him, makes him feel. The guy on the screen, he's not as handsome as Adam, doesn't have as good a smile, but he grabs the blond, pins him to the wall in a way he knows Adam never would. Not just because Adam doesn't get rough, but because Adam doesn't want him. Tommy's dropped enough hints and Adam's smarter than him, so it's pretty obvious that Tommy looks at Adam like he hung the moon and the stars, but Adam acts like he doesn't notice.  
　  
Tommy shakes his head, trying to get lost back in the music, in the porn on the screen, a hand at the waist of his jeans, but not inside yet; he wants to draw this out, make the pleasure last. He's got nothing but time. Wanking, another thing he's been told he shouldn't do because it's a sin, so getting off when they’re all downstairs, listing his faults, his trespasses against God, well it gives him an extra fill. He thinks it's better to do this, give himself an orgasm, than go seeking pleasure in the wrong places, can't see the harm in doing it occasionally. He's heard all the myths, hairy palms, you'll go blind, but he knows those aren't true and he doesn't do it that often.  
　  
Most the time, he's not meant to have his door shut, but this time they told him to lock it. So no one can hear what he's doing, see the pornography or him wanking. No one would guess the kind of music he likes to jerk off to, so the song on a loop won't tip them off. He's never been caught wanking, doesn't want to start now, because he doesn't need them adding another sin to his list. Not to mention, it'd be mortifying; he's not into humiliation. He hasn't really done enough or seen enough to know what he's into really, but he knows he likes Adam, likes men. His porn of choice at the moment edging toward rough, but that's just because it looks hot; he's not sure he'd like it like that. He's pretty much a virgin to anything other than his own hand. He's not stupid enough to count some drunk college girl grabbing his crotch during spin the bottle, at a party they'd gone to with Brad, as any kind of base. Not just because it was a girl and he didn't really like girls like that, but because it had just been a game. She hadn't wanted him, the bottle landed on him, it was the only reason she'd done it and Tommy had only done it, played the game, because he couldn't stand watching Brad with Adam anymore. They weren't overdoing the PDA, not really, they'd mainly been cuddling; Brad in Adam's arm, smaller even though he was older, leaned against Adam, no space between them. It still makes Tommy feel sick with jealousy, even though they are over.   
　  
He unzips his jeans, shoves his hand inside and pulls his dick out, hoping that actually starting to wank for real will take his mind off of his feelings for Adam. He's in love with his best friend, like every fucking teenage lead, in every teenage show, such a fucking cliché. Those shows aren't meant to be his life, the teenagers in them all played by thirty year olds who've had Botox; nothing that happens in them should happen in his life. If this was a show, he'd go over to Adam's with like a boom box and play him burning Ring of Fire, sing to Adam, 'Bound by wild desire, I fell into a ring of fire...' and Adam would get that it meant that Tommy wanted him, desired him, burned for him, they'd kiss and fade to black. Tommy doesn't want to fade to black, he wants life to be like the porno he's watching. If he had Adam, he'd want it all, to figure out if he'd really like the things he watches while he's wanking. From all the porn he's seen, he has a pretty good idea of what role he wants to try, at least to begin with. He wants to get fucked, his first time with a man, he wants to be fucked and it scares him a little. He knows it's not like in porn, like now, the guy on the screen picking up the blond and just shoving in his body, the blond moaning out in pleasure. He knows in real life that lube and prep are important, that if he fucked like the men he wanks to, he'd probably get hurt and he's willing to admit he's afraid of that.   
　  
Porn isn't meant to be real, though, and he doesn't watch it to learn anything. He watches it to get off and this is something that really does it for him. His eyes glued to the screen as he fists his dick, watching the blond on screen just take it, head thrown back like he loves it, the tall guy holding him up so effortlessly. Tommy used to hate being small, till he'd admitted to himself he liked men and started watching different porn. In straight porn, he didn't see guys like him, everyone was big, muscle, dominating the women they were with and they normally had dicks that were so huge they made Tommy wince. He didn't envy them; he pitied the women who had to sleep with them. But then he found videos like this one, with men who were small, like him, twinks, who got picked up and manhandled and fucked. He liked what he saw and it had got him thinking a lot about himself and the sex life he could have one day. Being small didn't seem so bad when he was watching some small guy being bent over, taken fast and rough or slow and deep, the other person in control. He wanted that, he wanted to be the little guy in the porn he watched, but for it to be real, with a guy he really liked just putting him wherever they wanted him and fucking him stupid.  
　  
The porn makes him fantasize, about him and Adam being in a room like the one in the video, empty, nothing but them and bare walls; Adam all over him, pulling his clothes off, pinning him to a wall and just taking him. He can't hold back a whimper, his hand tightening a little as his dick jerks. He's glad he picked Ring of Fire; it's loud enough to cover up him moaning and it's tempo doesn't mess him up. If he plays something too fast or too slow when he's wanking, it screws up his rhythm, has him fucking his fist too fast, coming too soon or going so slow, it's like beyond teasing himself and wanking should not be frustrating. He's never wanked to this song, but if he made a playlist of songs to wank to, it'd be on there, maybe twice.  
　  
He keeps his eyes on the screen, even though he's thinking about Adam and him. He hates himself a little for doing it, for imagining his best friend fucking him while he jerks off, but he can't help it. Doesn't matter what type of porn he's watching, he doesn't come unless he thinks about Adam in place of the porn star fucking the other, who he imagines as himself. He's really tried not to think of Adam; in the shower when he's hard, in the morning when he wakes up with wood. He tries to make it go away without jerking off, but when he does wank, he can't keep his mind on the porn, not completely. He feels like he's burning, just the way Johnny sings it, skin hot with pleasure, face hot with shame, but he can't help it, can't stop himself from being dragged further and further down into obsession.   
　  
He'd thought once upon a time, that it was the music, he hears music and he thinks about Adam. Would he like it? What would he sound like singing it? But when he wanks without music, it's never as good and there's more risk he'll be heard, like now, by the people downstairs, talking about him, his sin, while he's up here, playing a song they see as sinful, while he commits another thing they consider a sin. Wanking, fire, Adam, the porn, it all mixes together, building up like a pressure in his body, skin tight and flaming, hand moving faster, eyes on porn that he's not even really seeing anymore and then he comes, hard and fast. It kind of catches him by surprise, so he doesn't have time to grab tissues or anything and his come hits him in the stomach, the chest. He flops back on the bed, feeling boneless. It always feels so good and he can't help but wonder if it would feel as good or better with someone else's hand on him, with Adam touching him. Probably a thought shared by every guy who was a virgin, well not the Adam part.  
　  
He sits up carefully, not wanting to get come all over the place. He shuts off the porn, not caring about it now, he's got what he wanted out of it and he closes the file so no one can see it by accident. They'd have to go looking for it and Tommy doesn't think his parents could go looking for porn or anything on a computer really. He leaves it open on his bed as he gets up, opens his door and sneaks to the bathroom, Ring of Fire still playing on a loop is enough to cover his footsteps and him running water in the bathroom to clean off. He's walking back to his room, quiet and smug about having got away with wanking to gay pornography while a priest was in the house, when he hears a raised voice, loud enough that Ring of Fire doesn't even cover the words.  
　  
"He's possessed by the devil!" A male voice, but not his Dad. Tommy wants to laugh, because really? Possession? This isn't the exorcist, even though that film was the shit, but something in the guy has Tommy freezing out on the hallway and he's not laughing, he's straining to hear over 'down, down, down and the flames went higher'.  
　  
"I agree, it's clear some demon is in that boy. He's possessed." A woman's voice, one he can't place. He doesn't go to church enough for that, doesn't go at all really these days.  
　  
"A possession? Are you sure?" And that's his Mom and he can hear the fear in her voice over Johnny Cash singing 'And it burns, burns, burns.' His Mom believes them, thinks he possessed by the devil because of some music, a few late nights, some hair dye, a piercing, maybe his painted nails, black as sin. He can't believe her.  
　  
"It seems the most likely cause for his behaviour. You’re both good God fearing people, for your child to be living such a life of sin, well, it's clear there is something evil at work, an agent of the devil working through Thomas, corrupting his soul and his flesh." He recognizes the priest’s voice, all but hanging over the staircase so that he can hear what is being said over the music that had covered the sounds he'd made when he was wanking.  
　  
"What do we do? How do we end the possession? Should we pray for him?" His Dad, fuck, both his parents believe this bullshit. He hardly drinks; he doesn't smoke, he never gets in fights, he gets good grades, well good enough, how can they think he's possessed? They think a kid who stays in his room when he's grounded is really a demon in a meat suit? It's un-fucking-believable and he wants to hear how they plan to 'fix' him, get the demon out of him so he can be a good God fearing Christian like them.  
　  
"I'm afraid it's too late for prayer, he'll need an exorcism to end his possession." The priest says and he sounds so serious. Tommy feels the somewhat hysterical urge to giggle, an exorcism. He's heard about how those go and not just from seeing the movie 'Your mother sucks cocks in hell' is just a movie line that's always made him laugh. But real exorcisms are nothing to laugh at. He's heard stories, people left tied up till they die of dehydration or starvation, Heart attacks brought on by the priests, what they do. Hell, he's even heard of people being suffocated, from the people holding them down.   
　  
He goes back to his room and starts silently freaking the fuck out. He's not possessed, but they'll never believe him because 'the devil lies'. He has no chance of talking his way out of this, so he'll have to leave, walk out, it's not like they can stop him, would try, they'd just wait for him to come back right? Maybe this is the kind of thing they need to prepare for, get supplies for or something, like holy water, shit like that, but maybe the priest came prepared, because it seems like the people in his house had decided already that he was possessed. He walks back over to the door and the handle turns in his grip, forcing his hand the other way.  
　  
"I heard water running, you were told to stay in your room." His Dad's voice comes through the door, cold like he's talking to a stranger and Tommy realizes that's because his Dad thinks he is. He doesn't think Tommy is Tommy, he thinks he's a demon wearing Tommy's face.   
　  
"You can't just lock me in here!" Tommy yells to be heard over 'I fell into a burning ring of fire' and he's starting to get a little pissed with the fucking irony of a song with lyrics about burning. It might be about love that hurts, but right now, with people in his house, ready to try and perform an exorcism on him, he's really not appreciating the lyrics the way he was before. If his Dad hears him, he doesn't say anything back and Tommy doesn't know what to do. He has a cell phone, but who can he call? The police will think it's a prank all of his family go to the same church and the parents of most his friends to, some of his friends parents are downstairs right now, so he can't get them involved or they'll end up locked up like he is, waiting to have their own 'possession' problem dealt with.  
　  
He looks around, spots the laptop, remembers what he was watching and wonders why he didn't think of it earlier, Adam. His best friend, he can rely on Adam, he'll believe Tommy, maybe find a way to help him and Adam's family are all Jewish and they won't be involved in this fucking lunacy. He picks up his phone, pulling the charger out and calling Adam, standing huddled in the corner furthest from his stereo, he doesn't dare turn the music off or down, doesn't even want to change the song from anything other than Ring of Fire, in case it tips any one off to the fact that he's up to something.  
　  
"Tommy, are you calling me from a show? It's so loud." Adam says, he never seems to say hello.  
　  
"No, I'm in my room. I need your help, Adam. You need to, like, convince the cops to come here or something. I'm locked in my room." He hopes that maybe they'll believe Adam if he goes in person or maybe Adam can report some bogus crime that'll have the cops knocking on his door.  
　  
"What? Tommy, why are you locked in? Turn down the music, baby." Adam says softly. He sounds worried and Tommy wonders if Adam can hear the fear Tommy's feeling.   
　  
"I can't, I don't know what they'll do if they hear me. My parents, their priest, people from the church, they’re all downstairs and they think I'm possessed. They want to do an exorcism." Tommy explains, his heart racing.  
　  
"You’re not joking are you? I mean, you wouldn't; cruel jokes aren't your style. Fuck, Tommy barricade your door, so no one can get in. Please, I want you to be safe, do it just in case." Adam begs and Tommy uses his shoulder to keep his phone pressed to his ear, neck cricked as he walks across the room, pushing a bookcase in front of the door. It's not easy and it won't keep someone really determined out, but it's something. He walks back across the room, puts the phone back to his ear properly.  
　  
"I blocked the door." He explains, once again glad of the music. It probably covered up the sound of him moving shit, he hopes it did anyway.  
　  
"Pack a bag, some clothes, anything important and be ready." Adam tells him, voice oddly calm now.  
　  
"What, be ready for what?" Tommy asks, but the line goes dead.  
　  
So he does what he was told instead, grabs his back pack for school, tips it upside down and empties it. He can hardly concentrate, trying to listen over the music, the same song over and over no longer soothing now, but jarring, irritating, but he's too afraid to change it. He thinks he might end up hating this song if he has to stay trapped in here, listening, but Adam said pack, so he does. Clothes randomly, his guitar in its case, his laptop powered off and put in its own case. He puts random shit in the bag, anything with any meaning, which is mainly stuff from Adam, because Adam means the most to him. His phone is still in his hand when it buzzes, a text coming through.  
　  
 _Open your window  
　  
_It's from Adam, so he goes to the window, opens it, and thinks he can see Adam's Mom's car parked a little up the street, doesn't look down till someone calls his name. He looks down and there Adam is, halfway up the front of Tommy's house and not for the first time, he's glad his bedroom is one you can climb up to and out of. His parents haven't even ever caught him going in and out that way, probably think the roses stop him. These days Tommy hardly even gets scratched during the climb.  
　  
"Pass your bags down." Adam says softly and Tommy doesn't ask questions, just passes Adam his guitar. Adam climbs down a little, so he can lower the guitar case to the floor without dropping it. He does the same with the laptop case and Tommy's stuffed full back pack.  
　  
"You need a shirt or something, the thorns will shred you to pieces." Adam says softly and Tommy flushes, realizing he hasn't got a shirt on, hadn't put one on after he wanked to porn and thought of Adam. He grabs a thick hoodie and pulls that on. He can't be bothered to find a T-shirt to go under it. Adam climbs down then and Tommy follows him down. He reaches the ground as Ring of Fire starts from the beginning again and he grabs his things, keeping low like Adam, so that no one can see him from the house. He all but runs to Adam's Mom's car, they put his things in the back and then Tommy throws himself into the passenger seat.  
　  
Adam gets in the driver’s side, the engine roaring to life seconds later and Tommy stays terrified that he's going to get caught, up until the moment the car rounds the corner and his house is out of sight. He takes a deep breath, sits on his hands when he realizes they are shaking a little. He doesn't want Adam to see how scared he is, because it all seems so ridiculous, only it's not, because it's happening to him; his family really think he is possessed. He thought that shit only happened in films and in countries where the church still ruled. He never even dreamed it would happen to him and he's had some fucked up dreams.  
　  
"Are you okay?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Wigging out, my parents think I'm a demon or like possessed by whatever possesses people." Tommy admits, but shrugging, trying to act like that he doesn't care , even though his hands are still shaking.  
　  
"Where are we going?" Tommy asks after Adam doesn't say anything.  
　  
"My place. My parents won't mind. I'll let them know what's going on in the morning." Adam says simply.  
　  
"They'll believe you?" Tommy asks. He likes the Lambert's, they've always been nice to him, even though they know his parents go to a church that condemns them to hell, just for following another faith and even though they know Tommy doesn't believe in God and he looks like a punk. They don't give him mistrustful looks the way a lot of people's parents do when he's in their house, hell his own have been doing that lately.  
　  
"Of course, why would I lie about something like that?" Adam shrugs and Tommy doesn't answer, because his parents wouldn't have believed him that he wasn't possessed, but Adam's parents will believe anything he says. He guesses it's the difference between parents who trust their child and maybe parents who are sane. Not to mention that Adam is a better kid than him, more trustworthy.  
　  
Adam starts humming, drumming his fingers on the steering wheel. It's something he's seen Adam do a hundred times or more and he can almost predict now when Adam will start singing, but he doesn't predict what Adam will sing, never can, it changes every day. Musicals, especially if he's had a rehearsal, Bowie, classic Glam-rock, whatever is on the radio. But tonight Adam sings Johnny Cash and he sounds as good as Tommy had thought he would, back when he'd been jerking off thinking of Adam and Adam singing Ring of Fire. He sounds good and it makes Tommy's face flush, not just because of what he did, but because Adam is sexy as he sings about a love that burns.  
　  
"You heard that on the phone?" Tommy asks and Adam startles, like he hadn't even realized he was singing.  
　  
"And when I was outside your room." Adam doesn't ask why he had it on loop. Adam knows he's weird about music, but he doesn't start singing again, and Tommy kind of wishes he would. He shouldn't have opened his mouth, he feels like he's always saying the wrong thing around Adam these days.  
　  
They pull up at Adam's house, all the lights out, the opposite of how Tommy's house had looked. They carry his things inside, going to Adam's room. Tommy's never felt out of place in Adam's house before, but he does now. He feels like he doesn't belong here. It's not the bags, he's brought shit with him before, especially his acoustic guitar, playing while Adam sang, so he doesn't know what's wrong. Maybe it's him. He feels weird because of what happened, so he's going to feel weird no matter where he is.   
　  
"Did I wake you up?" Tommy asks when Adam shuts the door.  
　  
"Um, no, I was up." Adam says and he might of dyed his hair black, but his skin is still as pale as ever, so Tommy can see him blush bright red, even though there is only one lamp on.  
　  
"Dude, you’re blushing." Tommy points out, because Adam might have rescued him from a room full of crazy people, but he's still Tommy's best friend, it's his job to mock.  
　  
"Am not." Adam insists and Tommy just raises his eyebrows, because what are they, twelve?   
　  
"Fine, I'm blushing, but you can't make me say why." Adam groans, setting Tommy's laptop bag down on the desk, next to his own.  
　  
"I just had to leave home in the middle of the night. You should like make me feel better by letting me laugh at you." Tommy says, sitting down on the end of Adam's huge bed. Adam says he has such a huge bed because he's tall and he needs it to stop him from getting a bad back. Tommy tends to agree with Neil, Adam's little brother; Adam's spoiled, the thing’s like bigger than a king, if that's even possible. Tommy has a single, but then his parents didn't want him to have a bed that he could share with anyone, not till he's married. Which so isn't happening, not in this state anyway, maybe it'll be legal here by the time he gets a guy he wants to keep or like any guy.  
　  
"That's, you can't use that on me, I helped you!" Adam protests, flopping down at the head of the bed, which is covered in more pillows than any one person needs. Tommy is so stealing like half if they are going to top and tail. They've done it before. His feet don't even reach Adam's face, which is unfair, it's not like Adam's feet smell, but it's the principle of the thing.  
　  
"This night has been crazy, this whole day really, with the house arrest. I need something normal, sorry for the guilt trip, but I'm honestly trying to like chill after freaking out over my parents going all exorcist on me." Tommy sighs, folding his legs under him. He doesn't feel like himself, not like in a possessed way, but he's normally a laid back guy, his life isn't meant to have drama like this. He's not meant to be the guy who makes midnight or well eleven o' clock escapes from his house, because his family have gone nuts and think he's possessed all because of stupid shit like sleeping all day when he can and using curse words and nail polish.  
　  
"Fine, I was looking at porn." Adam blurts out and he actually gets redder, Tommy hadn't thought he could.  
　  
"Dude, me too, before the whole realizing my parents think I'm possessed thing. There's nothing embarrassing about watching porn. You’re an eighteen teen year old boy, it'd be weirder if you didn't watch porn." Tommy laughs and a little bit of him can't help but wonder if Adam had been wanking too, maybe even when Tommy called and it makes his stomach clench.  
　  
"Well, most the people I hang out with don't talk about it, like the girls in drama club." Adam shrugs.  
　  
"They probably watch it, too." Tommy doesn't think girls don't like porn, although he's not really thought about what type they watch. He thinks they'd be as unsatisfied with straight porn as he was, he's pretty sure girls don't like fake plastic tits and even faker moans.  
　  
"You just like thinking about girls watching porn." Adam snorts.  
　  
"Not really." Tommy mutters, because girls are cute and everything and he likes kissing them fine, but he doesn't want more from them. He doesn't get how Adam doesn't get it. It's not like there haven't been girls he could have dated or just slept with and he hasn't. He wasn't about to just use some girl so that he can honestly say he's not a virgin anymore.  
　  
"Huh?" Adam says, giving Tommy a weird look.  
　  
"Nothing, it doesn't matter." Tommy lies. Adam had to know he's a virgin. Tommy would have told him about losing his virginity otherwise. Adam told him, about his first time with Brad, no details, but it had still felt like Adam was stabbing him in the stomach when he'd told him.  
　  
"That's not a nothing face, I know you, Tommy Joe." Adam says sternly.  
　  
Tommy wants to say that Adam clearly doesn't know him as well as he thinks he does, but he doesn't want to fight. Adam's his best friend, crush aside, he wants Adam in his life forever, always has. When they first met, in like grade school, long before he knew his dick had a function other than pissing, he'd known he wanted to keep Adam forever. "It's late, we should go to sleep and explaining everything to your parents in the morning, like why I'm here, won't be fun." Tommy points out and it won't be. The Lambert's will believe him, believe Adam and they won't be pleased to know what his parents had done, had planned to do.  
　  
"No, you don't get to ignore the question." Adam says, frowning.  
　  
"There was a question?" Saying he has a face isn't a question, not really.  
　  
"You know there was a question. What did you say and why did it make you go weird? I know it's nothing to do with your parents or possession, so don't try that with me." Adam says and one of the bad things about knowing someone so long, is it's kind of hard to lie right to their face.  
　  
"I said I wasn't really interested in girls watching porn. Happy now? Can we go to bed now?" Tommy asks, holding a hand out for a pillow.  
　  
"I thought that would be a number one straight guy fantasy, girls getting off on porn." Adam says slowly, handing Tommy a pillow.  
　  
Tommy grabs it, sticks it at the end of the bed, doesn't bother trying to steal more, doesn't even get under the covers, he just lays down, wishing this night would just end. Nothing has gone right for him since he left that damn show and he can't even enjoy the memory, because the song, because Ring of Fire makes him think of the way he loves Adam.  
　  
"Tommy?" Adam sighs and he's still sitting up.  
　  
"What?" Tommy asks, voice sharper than he meant it to be. Adam helped him, was his fucking hero, he needs to stop being a dick.  
　  
"It's not my fault. I don't know what straight guys like. Maybe I shouldn't have assumed you'd like something like that." Adam says, but he sounds like he's getting annoyed, probably because Tommy snapped at him and because he's acting weird, he knows he is. And Adam's right, his mood doesn't even have anything to do with his parents. Fuck them anyway, they’re the reason why he's not out, because he knew they'd boot his ass out. At least he made it to eighteen, that's something he guesses. He can come out, people will still judge him, there will be people who call it a sin, but no one who matters. His family had mattered though, still do if he's honest, but they can't, not anymore, not if he wants to be happy.  
　  
"Maybe you shouldn't assume I'm straight." Tommy blurts out, without really thinking it through, and he wants to bite his own tongue off the minute the words are past his lips.  
　  
"What? What the fuck, Tommy Joe? Sit up and fucking talk to me." Adam demands and Tommy sits up, crossing his legs and grabbing the pillow from behind him, putting it in his lap, gripping it with both hands. He feels like he needs something to hold on to, to even think about having this conversation.   
　  
"Keep it down, you'll wake up your parents." Tommy mutters, even though he knows literally the whole Lambert family sleep like the dead, Adam included.   
　  
"Are you? You’re not, you can't be." Adam shakes his head.  
　  
"Full sentences would be helpful." Not that he can't guess what Adam had meant by what he'd said.  
　  
"You’re not gay, you would have said something." Adam says, and Tommy can hear the hesitation in his voice.  
　  
"I never said I was gay." Tommy says, hands fisted in the pillow.  
　  
"Exactly." Adam nods, like, that settles everything.  
　  
"I've never said I was straight either." Tommy continues, because fuck it, he's lost his only reason for not confirming his sexuality. Other people seem to know and not just the jocks who call him a fag, but people like Brad, who had called him closet boy, not just when Adam was out of ear shot either. He doesn't think the guy was even trying to be a dick, more like he was trying to prod Tommy into coming out. Probably not the best or nicest way, but he'd seen Tommy for what he is, a closet case, but not anymore.   
　  
"I'd know if you were gay." Adam says, looking like he's waiting for Tommy to throw out the punch line to the joke.  
　  
"Why, because you’re gay? Gaydar isn't actually full proof. I mean, do you really think you can tell if people are gay or straight. How does gaydar work with Bi people?" Tommy asks, because really, he doesn't know.   
　  
"I'd know because you’re my best friend and I know everything about you." Adam tells him and Tommy kind of wishes it was true.  
　  
"You’re my best friend, but you don't know everything about me." Tommy sighs.  
　  
"Name one thing other than the fact that you’re apparently gay." Adam challenges him.  
　  
"When I was fourteen I broke my arm, I said I fell in my back yard, right?" Tommy says, it's the first thing that comes to mind.  
　  
"Yeah, I remember, we decorated your cast with skulls." Adam smiles faintly.  
　  
"I didn't fall. Lisa's boyfriend was being a dick to her. I got in between them and he grabbed me, threw me down." They'd been in the hall upstairs and Lisa had screamed as he'd gone down the stairs. He can still remember the way she sounded, so afraid, more afraid for him than she had been when her asshole boyfriend had been getting pushy about sex.  
　  
"Why wouldn't you have told me the truth?" Adam asks, looking pale.  
　  
"I didn't tell anyone. Lisa kicked him out. He wasn't meant to be there. He wasn't allowed in the house when my parents were out, they'd have called her a whore, kicked her out. So we went to the back yard, got me dirty and when they came home I lied, I never told anyone." Not till now anyway.  
　  
"You could have told me." Adam sounds upset.  
　  
"I never told anyone. I didn't want Lisa to get in trouble. She wasn't a whore, didn't deserve the shit they'd have called her or the stuff they do say about her, when they talk about her now." Tommy doesn't remember the last time he heard Lisa's name in his house. She'd got pregnant by a guy she'd been dating for three years, but they weren't married, so his Mom and Dad had disowned her. He'd seen his niece once; sneaking out to see her wasn't easy.   
　  
"You could have said, I'd have never told your parents, I know what they’re like." Adam frowns.  
　  
"I didn't want you to have to lie for me. Lie to your parents about how I was hurt when they asked or to anyone. Besides, you'd have wanted the guy to get punished and there was nothing either of us could do, not then anyway." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"Not then?" Adam repeats.  
　  
"Ran into him like a month ago, at a show. He came and got in my face, talked shit about Lisa and the baby, like asking if she knew who the dad was. I might not be huge, but I'm not fourteen anymore. I hit him, a lot, bouncer didn't even try and stop me. He'd heard the stuff he was saying and I was winning, so he let me shut him up." Tommy can still remember the smug look sliding off of the asshole’s face when Tommy hit him. He was stronger than he looked from stuff like playing guitar; he had strong hands. He can also remember getting home and washing the blood off his hands.  
　  
"You beat someone up?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I figure I did him as bad as he got me when I was a kid. That and paid back every bruise I ever saw on Lisa when they were together." He knows the bastard beat Lisa, knew the minute she flinched back from him when he'd shouted, all those years ago.  
　  
"I'm glad you beat him up. And I guess I don't know everything, but I can't be wrong about this." Adam argues.  
　  
"Why can't you?" He's hid some of the uglier parts of his life from Adam, like his parents’ homophobia, what they think of Adam and his family for being Jewish, he doesn't lie to hurt Adam. He hides things he wishes he didn't have to see or hear either. Adam's too good, he shouldn't have to face all that hatred.  
　  
"When I told you about Brad you got really uncomfortable." Adam points out, like he knows all the answers, when he doesn't.  
　  
"Brad used to call me closet case, we didn't really get on." Tommy shrugs.  
　  
"No, I don't mean how you were around him, when I tried to talk about sleeping with him you went weird." Adam says and Tommy wishes he wouldn't, wishes he'd never let this conversation happen. He should have been smart enough to pack a bag and leave without needing Adam to tell him to and to come and get him. He should have just left, maybe gone to Lisa's place. He'd panicked though and the only person he had wanted was Adam, not Lisa.  
　  
"Maybe I was jealous. I'm a virgin. Maybe I just didn't want to talk about how my best friend was scoring when I wasn't." Which could be true, because he is a virgin and Adam isn't. Tommy hadn't wanted the details, couldn't stand knowing how and what had happened, not that wondering had been better.  
　  
"Please, that's another lie. You’re right, I might not know you as well as I thought I did, but I'm not stupid either; you’re not a virgin. You came to that party with me and Brad and I saw you with that girl." Adam sounds angry and Tommy does not get that, not at all.  
　  
"The spin the bottle girl? That was a game, Adam. And last time I checked, being kissed didn't mean you weren't a virgin." He hadn't even wanted to play; hell, he'd only come to the party because Adam begged him, because Adam didn't want to be the only high school kid at a college party, even though most the people there were only a year or two older than them.  
　  
"Not during the game. I saw you with her later, by the bedrooms." Adam accuses and Tommy doesn't want to think why Adam and Brad had been near the bedrooms, but he has to think back, because he'd got a little drunk after that disaster of a kiss.  
　  
"She dragged me back there." Tommy starts and Adam cuts in.  
　  
"I bet she did, she was all over you." Adam sneers, like he probably wasn't back there fucking around with Brad.  
　  
"We talked, she wanted to apologize for grabbing me because she could tell I wasn't into it and because I hadn't agreed to that when I said we'd play. She cried and said if I wanted to have her arrested for assault, she'd understand. I calmed her down, found her friends and got one of them to take her drunk ass home. She was wasted, do you really think I'd sleep with a girl who was that drunk?" Tommy asks, offend. By the time he'd calmed her down, talked to her and her friends, he'd ended up smelling of a bunch of different perfumes and he'd ended up with mascara on his neck. He'd spent the rest of the party drinking alone in the kitchen, waiting for Adam to reappear, because Brad had driven them both.  
　  
"I didn't really notice she was drunk, you really didn't sleep with her?" Adam asks and Tommy would yell at him, but he looks so hurt and Tommy just doesn't have the heart to do it.  
　  
"No, I didn't, I don't even like girls like that, Adam. Why would I say I was a virgin if I wasn't one? It's not something I'd really brag about. All the guys at school would think I was a freak if they knew that I turned girls down and not just drunk ones." He knows his virginity isn't something to be ashamed of, but he's eighteen, a high school senior, it's not something he brags about; Adam's the only one he's told.  
　  
"I thought you just didn't want to talk about girls with me. I thought talking about sex with me made you feel weird because I'm gay." Adam admits and Tommy wishes he could take away the pain in his voice. He loves Adam, and it hurts to hear Adam in pain.  
　  
"No. I'm gay, Adam. It's not a joke or anything. I mean it, check my laptop. There's porn on it, go on." If Adam thinks he is freaked out about men having sex with each other, he'll soon see he's wrong.  
　  
Adam takes his challenge, gets up, gets Tommy's laptop and brings it back to the bed, placing it between them and boots it up. He knows Tommy's password, like he knows all the things Tommy needs not to forget, like his locker combo. He waits, watching and then Adam's face gives away that he's found Tommy's porn, not a girl in sight.   
　  
"This is gay porn, a lot of gay porn." Adam says, eyes wide.  
　  
"Gay, Gay virgin, of course I have a lot of porn. We don't all have college guys asking us out." Tommy shrugs, like he even cares about older guys. He knows he's gay, he likes men, but the only real man he's ever really wanted, thought about having sex with, is Adam.  
　  
"So when you said you were watching porn as well, I was wrong to think it wouldn't be something I'd like." Adam says, voice rough and Tommy makes himself move, unlock his legs and drop the pillow he's been holding, so he can see what Adam's looking at.   
　  
It's the video he'd been watching, while he listened to Ring of Fire and wanked to thoughts of Adam; Adam, who is looking at his porn.  
　  
"The blond guy looks a little like you, narcissist." Adam smirks, but he doesn't look at Tommy, his eyes stay on the screen. He's half right, the blond does look a little like Tommy, he knows that, but he doesn't like the video because he likes jerking off seeing himself. He likes seeing someone who looks like him, getting fucked by someone like Adam.  
　  
"Not a narcissist. I just get off on seeing someone like me getting fucked." Tommy blurts, retreating to his side of the bed, because he felt like he needed to answer, hadn't wanted to give the whole truth, so he'd blurted out that instead.  
　  
"You want to bottom?" Adam asks.  
　  
"Maybe, it's not like I know for sure. I'm a virgin, everything I like is just porn based theory. Liking the idea when I'm wanking isn't the same as knowing." Tommy isn't embarrassed, it's almost nice, being able to be a hundred percent honest with Adam and about sex, which they never talk about. Well it'd be nice, if not for the fact that the guy he's had a crush on for forever was sat there watching his porn.  
　  
"I, ah, prefer topping." Adam says softly, but he's confident, because he knows, which answers Tommy's unasked questions about what Adam has done, when it comes to fucking and being fucked. He likes knowing as much as he thought he would, which isn't at all. It also makes it way too easy to put Adam in the place of the guy in the porn on his laptop, because Adam is a top.  
　  
He hears Adam clicking and he hopes this is done, that Adam will shut it off and they can stop talking about his porn habits and what Adam likes in bed. He's never going to be able to wank without thinking of Adam, which means he’ll feel guilty every time he jerks off.  
　  
"It's all the same types of guys. Small guy, tall guy, huh? And it’s always a dark haired guy, not into blonds Tommy?" Adam asks, glancing up from the screen, his relaxed smile slips when he looks up at Tommy though.  
　  
"They look like us." Adam says softly, shock making his eyes go wide and Tommy wishes the ground would open up and swallow him. Being exorcised because his parents think he's possessed couldn't be this painful, maybe he should have stayed, faced them.  
　  
"Tommy, the men in every porn video, clip, and picture on your laptop look like us." Adam says when Tommy doesn't say anything. What can he say? It's clearly not a coincidence.   
　  
Adam puts the laptop on the floor, doesn't shut it down, just leaves the porn on the screen and Tommy stares at the couple frozen on the screen, because it's easier than looking at Adam.  
　  
"Tommy look at me, say something, please?" Adam asks. He doesn't sound angry. He probably feels sorry for Tommy, because he's a stupid virgin, pining after his best friend, jealous of his ex-boyfriend, watching porn and masturbating to thoughts of Adam fucking him, listening to songs on repeat because they remind him of Adam. It's pathetic, he's pathetic.  
　  
"Tommy Joe." Adam says, almost sharply and Tommy feels like he's going to cry. He can't face Adam, he's not brave enough, can't cope with Adam's pity. He's not sure he ever could, but knows he can't right now, not after what had happened with his family.  
　  
He doesn't hear Adam move, just feels the hand on his jaw, gentle pressure, coaxing him to look away from the porn that gave his biggest secret away. He wants his best friend, but maybe that isn't his biggest secret, maybe the fact that he's in love with him is. Adam gets him to look at him, eye to eye and Tommy wants to hide, wants to disappear. He might not be possessed, but maybe he is in hell, maybe he is being burned by his desire, burned alive.  
　  
"Fuck, Tommy, why didn't you ever say anything?" Adam asks softly.  
　  
"I wasn't supposed to fall for you. You’re my best friend. That wasn't the way it was meant to be." He was meant to love Adam forever, but not like this, it was never meant to hurt.  
　  
"Are you in love with me?" Adam asks and Tommy winces, trying to pull back from Adam. But Adam tightens his grip on Tommy's jaw, his other hand grabbing one of Tommy's hand, keeping him from going anywhere, and now is a really bad time to realize that what he's learned from porn is probably right. He does get off on being manhandled. By a little bit of rough treatment, he thinks Adam could make it hurt so sweetly, burn in the best way.  
　  
"Shit, yeah, yeah I am. Happy now? Can't I keep anything to myself? Do you have to know every single thing I feel? Have I been humiliated enough? I had to ask you to save me and now all this, is it enough yet?" Tommy asks, and he doesn't think he's ever felt this bad around Adam before, not even when Adam would talk about Brad. It’s hurt to be around Adam before, but it's always been worth it before. He's not sure this pain is worth anything. The thought of losing the way things were with Adam hurts more than the fact that he's lost his parents tonight.  
　  
"What? Humiliated? No Tommy, It's not like that, it's not." Adam says firmly and then his grip tightens on Tommy's jaw again and then his lips are covering Tommy's, firm and warm and Tommy doesn't understand.  
　  
"Kiss me back, please kiss me back." Adam murmurs against his lips. He kisses Tommy again and Tommy responds, as best he can, when his whole body feels frozen. He pulls back, breathless, but he doesn't get far, Adam's hand still on his jaw.  
　  
"Please don't do that if you don't mean it. Don't do it out of pity or anything other than fucking wanting to." Tommy spits out, because Adam might think doing something like that would be kind, but it would be the cruellest tease he has ever been through.  
　  
"Don't mean it? Baby, I've wanted to do that for so long. I've been in love with you for so long. Since before Brad. He realized, told me I shouldn't try and be with someone else till I got over you or got you under me. I told him you weren't gay a thousand times and he just laughed in my face, said I wasn't seeing what was all over your face. Was he right?" Adam asks.  
　  
"I was so jealous of him, but yeah, he's right. I hated seeing him with you. I hated knowing you'd been with him." Tommy admits and Adam kisses him again and this time it doesn't make him freeze, it makes him melt, turn to liquid in Adam's hands. He's on his back, Adam over him and he doesn't even know how they got like this, but he's more than okay with it. Adam's the one who stops kissing him, pulls back, a hand on either side of Tommy's head.  
　  
"I love you, we don't need to rush. Just because I've had sex doesn't mean I need you to put out." Adam says softly, his lips flushed and that's not something he's seen in porn. Adam's already better than his favourite porn, other than the stopping thing. He's never been into delayed gratification when he's wanking, doesn't see a reason to be stopping now.  
　  
"But you want to? Right? You want to fuck me?" Tommy asks.  
　  
"Yes, I want it, can't think of anything but being in you sometimes. Like when I'm jerking off, but I won't die if we go slow. Tommy, you haven't even kissed a guy before, have you?" Adam asks,  
　  
"No, but I want to. I'm doing okay at it, right?" Adam had seemed to like it anyway.  
　  
"So much better than okay, baby. But you're a virgin, you'll regret rushing and then you'll hate me and I'll lose you. I don't think I could live through having you once and then losing you. I was so afraid your parents would hurt you tonight. I care about you so much more than I care about sex." Adam says, so fucking honest and earnest, Tommy wants to kiss him again.  
　  
"Adam, I'm a virgin because I wanted you and no one else compared. I've been jerking off thinking of you fucking me for so long, I can't even remember wanting anything or anyone else." Tommy says firmly, because Adam has always been fucking it for him. If he can have him now, he wants all of him, as much as he can get, so he remembers the night Adam rescued him for more than just the pain he felt over his family believing he's something that deserved to burn in hell, something he knows they will think if they find out he's gay and believe it's him, not a possession making him gay. Losing two hate filled people he loves, it could be worth it if he gets to love a man he loves, who loves him back.  
　  
"Stop me if you don't like anything. Stop me if it's too much or too fast. I won't get mad, I promise. But you need to promise to stop me if you need to, I won't touch you again unless you promise to tell me if it's too much." Adam begs and Tommy really wants to kiss him.  
　  
"I promise, I fucking promise, just touch me Adam, fucking touch me, kiss me. Waited so long for you, quit wasting time." Tommy pleads and then Adam is kissing him, his weight pinning Tommy to the bed and it feels perfect, close to heaven, only there would be less clothes in heaven, he's sure of it.  
　  
Adam's kisses are mind blowing and Tommy feels like he's just along for the ride, clinging to Adam and it feels fantastic. He never wants to leave Adam's giant ass bed. He lets his hands wander, worming under layers of clothing to get to skin, to touch Adam and he never thought touching someone's back, their sides, would have him shaking and hard. Adam breaks the kiss, but only to drag off Tommy's hoody, then his mouth is on Tommy's neck, kissing and sucking and Tommy can't complain about that, has no problem what-so-fucking-ever with Adam's mouth at his neck and his hands all over his bare skin. His nipples are something he's touched before, when he's wanking and it feels good, but not as good as when Adam thumbs one roughly and it feels like he should be touching his dick instead. It feels that good and he can't hold back a moan, just has to hope Adam's parents and brother can sleep through this, because he doesn't know how to keep quiet. He pulls at Adam's clothes, wanting more skin, gets the two tops he's wearing half off, but then Adam distracts him, sucking Tommy's nipple into his mouth, teeth just scraping over the hardened flesh and Tommy never knew it could feel like that. He thinks maybe he'd be embarrassed about not knowing about all that much in bed, but he feels too good to care and Adam doesn't seem to care. He looks delighted every time he startles a moan or gasp out of Tommy.  
　  
He finally gets Adam's tops off and skin on skin, it's so simple, but it feels so good and Tommy wants to feel that all over his body. He starts wiggling out of his bottoms, glad when Adam seems to realize what he's trying to do and starts helping his strip, till Tommy is naked under him, pawing at the zipper of Adam's jeans; he wants to feel everything. He's wanted Adam since he knew what it meant to want, loved him since maybe before then, maybe always. He's wasted so much time, if only he'd told Adam sooner. But he couldn't go against his parents beliefs, not so completely, that is until they betrayed him, he owes them nothing. He missed out on the chance to be Adam's first, but he won't miss out on Adam being his. He can't think of a better person to lose his virginity to than Adam, the man he loves.  
　  
He feels like a man possessed, with lust, not a demon or a spirit and he gets what he wants soon enough, Adam naked on top of him. Adam's hard cock pressing against him, slick pre-come smearing against his stomach and Tommy spreads his legs without thinking, and letting Adam settle between them feels natural. Being spread out naked under Adam feels so right, he promised to stop Adam if anything felt wrong or rushed, but it doesn't.   
　  
"I want to do something, please?" Adam groans against his mouth.  
　  
"Yes." Tommy gasps as Adam moves against him, not bothering to ask what. He doesn't care, doesn't believe Adam could do something that he wouldn't like.   
　  
Adam moves, sliding down Tommy's body. He thinks maybe Adam will stop at his dick, but he doesn't and he's pushing Tommy's legs up, all but folding him in two, but he trusts Adam and his trust soon pays off. Tommy has watched porn, but there is only so much he can experience alone, a hand on his dick, fingers in his ass, he can do that and he has, sometimes both at once. But a mouth on his body isn't something he can do, a tongue running over his asshole, isn't something he could even imagine the feel of. He gasps and when Adam does it again, he moans, louder than half the men in the porn he's seen, but he doesn't give a fuck, not with Adam's mouth on him, rimming him, licking him open. When Adam adds a finger, then two, licks between them, his tongue so deep inside Tommy, he thinks he's going to come, he gets a hand to the base of his dick just in time to hold off his orgasm.  
　  
"Want to see you come." Adam says from between his thighs, face flushed, lips shiny, hotter than any porn star, not just because of what he's doing, but because he's real, because he's Adam.  
　  
"I want to come when you’re inside of me." Tommy gasps, shifting to try and get more of Adam's fingers in him. It feels so good, better than he's ever felt, a thousand times better than the guilty orgasm he had earlier as Ring of Fire played on a loop.  
　  
"Fuck, Tommy are you sure? I could get you off like this, I'd like it, I promise." Adam says softly.  
　  
"I want you. Want you to be the first and the last and the only. Please don't make me beg for something we both need." This goes beyond want, right now he needs to be with Adam.  
　  
"I have lube and condoms." Adam tells him, which sounds like a yes to Tommy, so he nods and Adam moves, going to the head of his bed, leaving Tommy sprawled out at the other end and he doesn't like being alone, but Adam doesn't take long. He'd thought Adam would fuck him right away, but instead he gets his mouth back on Tommy's ass and three fingers this time and he soon has Tommy panting for more. The fingers slicked with lube are nothing new, he's done that to himself, but Adam moving on top of him, kissing him while it happens is new. He whimpers into the kiss, wanting more, his whole body on fire. He searches for the condom, fumbles it out of the wrapper. He uses one hand to steady Adam's dick and the other to roll the condom on the way they do in health class. Adam moans, then he kisses Tommy hard, his hands on Tommy's body and it feels right. He doesn't need Adam to ask if he's sure. He moves, keeping a hand on Adam's dick, trying to position him, but Adam stops him, stuffs a pillow under Tommy's hips and then lines himself up. He doesn't ask though, just looks in Tommy's eyes and finds his own answer.   
　  
It doesn't really hurt, but he thinks that's because of the way Adam got him ready and because he's so turned on. He feels full though, stretched and he thinks he'll still be feeling this tomorrow and he kind of likes that idea, feeling Adam after. Adam kisses him, soft and gentle, hardly even moving his hips and then he starts moving more and kissing Tommy deeper. It's almost too much, but in a good, in a way where he still wants more at the same time and he doesn't think he's going to last long at all. Every thrust has him closer to coming and he can't do a thing to stop it. His arms are wrapped around Adam, he could move them, get one on his dick, try and slow things down, but he doesn't want to. His first time doesn't need to last forever, there will be so many other times with Adam and he wants the first time he comes with someone else to be with Adam, to be because of Adam inside of him.  
　  
He lets the pleasure take over, doesn't fight it and his orgasm slams into him like a Mack truck , it feels like his bones have turned to water, to liquid pleasure and he calls out Adam's name, not caring in that moment if he wakes the whole house up. He'll probably care later, but not now when he's coming between them, while Adam fucks into him, muscles bunching and flexing under Tommy's hands as he keeps thrusting and it makes it feel like his orgasm just isn't ending, wave after wave of pleasure and then Adam goes still, moaning brokenly as his own orgasm hits. He's not sure if he spaces out or falls asleep, but he's not really aware of anything again until Adam is tucking him under the covers. They’re still naked, still at the wrong end of the bed, but he doesn't care. He can use Adam as a pillow.  
　  
"Was it okay?" Adam asks, like he hasn't practically fucked Tommy into a sex coma.  
　  
"It was amazing." He doesn't want Adam to doubt that.  
　  
"I want to be with you, forever." Adam says softly, his face against Tommy's hair.   
　  
"Umm, yeah, me too." Tommy yawns.  
　  
"I'm having a moment and you’re falling asleep." Adam huffs.  
　  
"I love you. I want to be with you. I'll let you take me to fucking prom if you want, I'm just tired." Tommy mumbles into Adam's chest.  
　  
"You'll willingly go to prom? Wow, maybe you are possessed." Adam mutters, but he kisses Tommy on the head after, like an apology.  
　  
"I love you, too." Adam whispers and it's a nice thing to fall asleep to.  
　  
It's nice to wake up in Adam's arms as well, not so nice having Neil run into the room and jump on the bed and then run out screaming his head off when he realizes Adam isn't alone and no one is wearing clothes. When he finally stops hiding under the covers, Adam takes him downstairs. He grins sheepishly when he finds Adam's dad explaining to Neil how that sometimes grown-ups have sleepovers without clothes. He thinks they'd maybe be mad with him if he hadn't explained that he hadn't just come to their house in the middle of the night to sleep with their son. Adam's Mom calls his, there's yelling, he's never heard Adam's Mom curse before. They find Lisa's number after that and when she hears what has happened, she says he can move in with her and if the church hassle him, she'll take things to the police. She doesn't live too far away from Adam, so he won't have to change schools to finish his senior year or anything.   
　  
Adam holds his hand through it all, even though Neil pulls faces at them. Not he assures them, in a way too grown up voice, because they are both boys, but because it's cute and cute things are gross and his brother is also gross and he doesn't get Tommy wanting to be all cute with him. Adam just ignores him and Tommy tries not to laugh. Neil's a weird little kid that'll either end up a politician or hacking into the government from his bedroom. Tommy thinks the odds of either are pretty even. Adam's parents don't care that both of their kids are different than them, they don't seem disappointed that neither of their kids will follow in their footsteps. They've never seemed to care that Adam was gay, even though it's against their religion; they love their son more than they care about the rules of their religion. Tommy would envy Adam's family, if he didn't know he was already a part of it.  
　  
The End.

 

 

　

 

　

　

　

 

　

 

　

 

　

 

　

 

　

 

 

　

 

　

　

　

 

　

 

　


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